! Snow Precautions and Little-Known Facts !
Here are some little-known snow facts that may fascinate you:
Here are some handy Tips for Winter:
And now friends....More tips and Products for Winter:Manufactured exclusively for you by the Friendly Persuasion Good Product Company, these products will help sustain you during the bitter months ahead. "Let's Just Get Through This, Shall We?"
Sold for a limited time only, these items are not available in any store!
Yes, it looks like you just grew two cup sizes. Is it Mother Nature....or Jim Beam? Only Mamma-Flask knows!
Sewn discreetly into a regular polyester and Spandex brassiere, the Mamma-Flask contains a sanitary and waterproof lining that stores up to 25 ounces of your favorite good-time beverage. That's equivalent to nearly a fifth of Scotch or a bottle of wine. Choose your poison --than drink it when no one's looking through the handy accessory drinking straw. An advanced valve mechanism keeps the Mamma-Flask inflated with air even as it's emptied, preserving your exaggerated bust line. The party's never over til you say it is! But when it is, Mamma-Flask is a cinch to clean --just throw it in the wash with your other unmentionables.
Beating the cold is all about distraction. That is why we're making available to you for the first time, our exclusive winter line of headgear, "Hats of Distraction." Made with the same attention to quality as our "Hats of Distinction," our Hats of Distraction will stop traffic and start conversations, leaving you less mental energy to shiver. Plus, our one-of-a-kind styling features science behind the design. Based on the principle that heat rises, our Hats of Distraction boast special heat containment properties, actually helping to retain your body heat! .
If yours is a lifestyle "on the move" nothing keeps you warmer than our trademark Hobo Coat. Patterned after the traditional storied garb of rail jumpers, drifters and other hapless "ho's", our Hobo Coat has the ill-fitting look of something you plucked out of the charity bin, and pockets so deep you could keep a small cook-stove on your person and forget it's there! Decorative fringe on sleeve and hem adds just enough class to set you apart from the riff-raff.
Winter's harsh realities: Harrowing scenes like these are familiar to us all...
Seduced by the possibility of snow and some great time you think you're gonna have? Don't fall under the spell of dangerous seasonal fantasies! Our "Wintry Woes" snow globes depict winter as the shit storm it really is. No more Winter Wonderlands. Our globes feature scenes of fallen power lines, stranded motorists, wrecked cars, hypothermia victims, house fires and avalanches...right on your desktop. This is winter as you really know it! Sure to catch the eye, Wintry Woes snow globes are a great conversation piece.
Remember how that Halloween mask made your face sweat as a kid? Wouldn't it be nice if you could just wear a mask of your own face when it's cold out? Send us a photo and we'll make a 3-D printed face mask out of polyurethane bearing a stunning likeness to your face! Wear your doppelganger whenever you need to be out and about. Your face stays warm and cozy while your "alter ego" takes the brunt of that raw, north wind. The Deluxe edition comes with a choice of speaking voices and standard phrases, sparing you the task of speaking as well.
"I have used and benefited from all of these products. " -- Dorothea Greezbolte, Filament, New Jersey.