Thursday, January 29, 2015

Fun with Stamps!

I've always been fascinated by stamp shops. Those grimy little offices where people sell stamps and make customized stamps that spell your company name on a strip of rubber. Really, who doesn't want their own personal stamp? It's fun to stamp things, and I'm thinking about how I could order my own customized stamp with my own personal logo or pithy saying. If I really wanted to go all out, I could get one of those fancy self-inking stamps with the impressive steel mechanism that pulls back, letting you roll the date forward and back.

Stamp shops are one of those niche industries that are now endangered by the digital age, as people get too sophisticated and advanced to use paper and the need to leave a territorial or validating smear of ink on documents has waned. Just knowing this makes me love stamps and all their old-school smudges even more, so I was delighted to discover a stamp shop near where I work. I was in there yesterday ordering stamps for the library ---yes, we still use stamps!----and I noticed a 2015 calendar that said "The Self-Inking Adventures of Stamp Spade". Wha? I was standing a little too far away to be sure, but the picture for January had a film noir feel to it and seemed to be showing a stamp dressed as a detective. What the?..... What strange rabbit hole had I fallen down? These stamp people exist in a whole nother world.

I had to see if this was for real or if I was just imagining things, so I Googled, "The Self-Inking Adventures of Stamp Spade", and found this video. Okay, it's a stamp vendor promoting their stamp products, but I think it's pretty creative and clever. Now I want the calendar!    

The Self-Inking Adventures of Stamp Spade from CONSOLIDATED MARKING on Vimeo.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Can this be January?

We've had some freakishly warm days here.

Here are my legs on the deck. This was me Saturday. I was enjoying the sun, sitting outside in January without a jacket! 

I had been strategic about it. I made sure to get out to the deck before noon.

Even though our deck is on the south side of the house, the winter sun doesn't feel warm out there for very long. If you want to feel the sun's rays penetrating your skin and blasting you with actual heat, you have to get out there while it's still morning. By 12:30 or 1:00 the opportunity has already passed. The sun has moved off and you find yourself needing a sweater, and thinking you'd kind of like to go back inside.

 I had learned this the hard way, the previous weekend, when our dreadful cold snap had finally given way to temps in the 50's. The sun on the deck looked inviting, but by the time I made it out there, it lacked any power to warm me. So this past weekend, when the Saturday forecast showed a cartoon sun, smiling and wearing sunglasses, I got out a piece of paper, and wrote down the following  schedule for myself:

 11:00 am to 1:00 pm----Sun Time.

Everything else would have to be planned around that.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Yeah, we're cold.

Yeah, we're cold. I can't do much in the cold. But I try to stay on a schedule. I shivered from 1:00 to 4:00 today.

Wanna play a fun game? We like the game, "How many fingers?"  Because here, nobody has all their fingers. Ha ha ha!! Because frostbite.  But it's okay. No one needs all ten. God gave us spares for when some of them fall off due to extreme cold.

Don't ask for salad. We don't handle lettuce or fruits in this weather. The fruit makes our hands cold. Cutting fruit, especially. Don't look for fruit salad.

Wintertime is when everything sleeps. It is the dreamtime. I dream often that I am wearing my fuzzy robe to the places I go, like work. I wish my dream would come true.

My car is very cold. The seat feels like ice. I do not have butt warmers. Some people have seats with butt warmers that turn on when they start the car. I do not. I drive with a big hat on my head, pulled down, so you can barely see my eyes.

The cold makes some people lose their minds. It has that effect. Their brains stop working, and they do things that no one would believe. Crazy things. Like they wear short skirts. Or they run outside for many blocks for no reason. Poor people. They are lost. Steer clear of them.   

I need some new equipment for the cold. Many times I have thought this. I will buy the new thing soon, and it will be a handy gadget. I just have to find the store where they are. Then I will buy it immediately. You will not know there is a flask under my coat, but it will be there.

Yes, it's cold, but the cold has taught me things. I see the sunrise in the morning and at night the sunset. From this I see that there is beauty, even in the midst of great suffering.


Friday, January 2, 2015

2015 is a New Year!

It's a totally new year! A new year means a new Simone! What can you expect from this year's model? Take a peek below for a preview of what 2015 holds!

NEW for 2015!!

Leggings!  I've decided the water's fine ---it's time to jump in! After several years of watching this trend from the sidelines I am finally ready to give it a try. But... maybe after January. You can't wear long underwear under leggings

FEARLESS accessorizing! Look for me to be mixing flashy with trashy. Classy with kitschy. Hipster with Glam. (Unless someone says it looks bad.)

New horizons in personal care!  One magic day this year, the sun will rise and I'll drive off to the strip mall to get my eyebrows waxed.

Reverse engineering project!  I'm determined this year to crack the code on those chai lattes I get at Starbucks so I can make my own at home.

My new good habit for 2015! Sweeping the floor

My new vice for 2015!  Heavy whipping cream

Word to be stricken from my vocabulary:  "Rocks."  I like rocks, the hard, craggy kind that broke off mountains or formed in the earth's crust. But I really dislike the use of "rocks" to mean something is cool and I hate the way it's over-used today and I especially hate when it's used this way, "Simone is really rockin' those leggings."  Although I avoid using this term that I loathe, I may have slipped up and used it in the past, when at a loss for words or in social situations where I felt awkward. Well, no more!! That expression will not pass through my lips in 2015!

Motto for 2015:  What my kids don't take from me, I'll probably lose anyway

Travel plans for 2015:  Boldly going where Simone has never gone before--Yes, a trip to the Land of Ikea!