Thanksgiving Momories

My mom made the best Thanksgiving dressing under the sun. Her turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie were EVERYTHING.

 But the memory of Thanksgivings with mom wouldn't be complete without recalling her signature move at the dinner table, when she would declare:

"Boarding house reach!"

With this phrase, mom granted herself license to shove aside niceites in order to snag a roll or salt shaker that was beyond her grasp. As if my siblings and I were too slow or uncomprehending to be relied upon to pass it.

I didn't exactly find this custom endearing. I think I saw it as another way my mother liked to push herself out into the world, sometimes at the expense of us. And yet I do find it endearing that she would use this phrase, and it will likely grow more fond in memory, now that she's gone.

What I love about this phrase is the built-in suggestions that come with it: that we, my siblings and I, were acquainted with boarding houses and their loose table manners, and that my mom had had this colorful past of traveling and staying in them, and learning to elbow her way past drifters, ramblers and bounders to the gravy.

Well if anyone could elbow their way past a rough passel of strangers, it would be my mother! Thanks for all the great Thanksgivings, mom. Miss you.

Preparations Underway...

Pie Filling

Hells yes! It's hard work!

Shopping for Rocks

When I go out to Ness I shop for rocks. I take walks on a dirt road outside of town that is a veritable geologic bazaar! Rocks of every size and color on display, scattered along the roadway.

I'm always amazed at how often merchandise is refreshed out there. There always seem to be new specimens that I didn't see on previous trips. Where do the rocks come from? Who re-stocks them?

 After my last shopping excursion in early October I spread the rocks out on mom's porch to examine my haul.   

 

These are rocks I had previously put on layaway. By layaway I mean I pried them out of the ground and dumped them all in one spot for safe-keeping until I could make it back to Ness another time.
Later when I returned, they were still out there, waiting for me to claim them. So I loaded them up in the car and drove them back across Kansas to be used in my (theoretical) rock garden. 

Pumpkin patch was the most sincere, but creepy

Happy Halloween!!

Fall Finds

Crow ---my favorite new fall accessory 

Pumpkin patch coordinates

His and his knits for the.. lady-killers? They're man-fashioned!

Dope jackets. And the badass tribe they come with 

Old painter --a seasonal classic  

Hail, October!

Yes!-- Hail, October!

In welcoming this glorious and best of all months, I bring you the words of my sister Laura, who  recently paid tribute to the month and to its true meaning, the feast of the Goddess MoneSim. Her tribute pleases me, for it rightfully recognizes my true nature and place in the cosmos. For this IS my month of increasing power! And I, MoneSim, I smile upon all who know this!    

As one of the Dual Goddesses of October, it also pleases me to join and magnify with my sister Goddess ZanneSu, whose name sounds like both a goddess and an alien female ruler on a Star Trek episode, and to revel this month in her feast day as well as my own! 

As you celebrate October, may the winds of autumn dance with you as nakedly as the forest nymphs dance with me!


From my sister Laura:

Today is the first day of October, the month of many changes. 

Presided over by the spirit of the Great-GrandNana, CellaMar, October begins the evolution of summer to winter, light to dark, salad to soup. 

 On the 7th day, October brings us the feast of the Goddess MoneSim, whose powers can be called upon to conjure up uncommon joys, such as dancing forest nymphs, pumpkin beer, and good parking spaces. The power of this Goddess is magnified when it joins with those of the Goddess ZanneSu, whose feast day is October 16.

From then until the end of the month, the Dual Goddesses will smile over the homes and families of the Fortunate Ones who share a direct lineage with them. Hail, October!, and hail, MoneSim, ZanneSu, and of course, CellaMar.

9/19/19!!

It's 9/19/19! 

 9/19/19!!! 

And what else is there to say? But that it's 

9/19/19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing I like about this day is I can get confused and think we're still in the 1900's. Yeah, I liked the 20th century.   

I Drink Alone

here is a meeting

looks important

so many drinks

these people are thirsty

empty bottles, cups down to the last drop

I've been to meetings

many people bring drinks

water, coffee, tea bags hanging

but no one drinks them

this I have observed

no one drinks

the mug, the sports bottle

mere vanity objects

staking claims

"Oh Jana was sitting there, that's her cup

(she went to make photocopies)

personal beverage containers

an array, untouched

a power play

dominance over thirst

who will blink (drink) first?

in a corner of that room

I'm losing my pen

losing the thread

of a discussion that's moved into some dry hinterland without me

as I furtively sip

the coffee I brought

action steps to be taken

Wait, what was my boss just saying?

Squaresville

I was lucky enough to grow up with the Flintstones, and I like to think back on them fondly from time to time. The show was educational in its way. I learned about how to be resourceful: rocks can be used for easy chairs, cars can be started with the feet...

Here Betty Rubble demonstrates for us the universal symbol for that which is "lame" or "not hip." Math has never been my strong suit but I think this is a good use of geometry.

Here is the full clip where word gets out that Fred is a square, with a little help from Betty and Wilma. Guess I learned about sabotage too!

Golden Age of the TV Repairman

"Okay now kids, settle down. The show is starting."

"Why did we have to get all dressed up just to watch TV?"

"In case grandma drops by. Thinks I can't manage my own household. Ha. I'll show her!" 

"But the TV's broken."

"We paid a lot of money for this set, so by gosh we're going to sit here and watch whatever's on. Right now it's your father's reflection.

That One Time with the Clowns

Those orange circus peanuts aren't as bad as I thought. They feel kind of like a pillow for your teeth. Left behind by the clowns, naturally. It's not like I bought them.   

Living with clowns sounds like a laff riot but it ain't easy. They're up all hours, their wig gets caught in the toaster. They frighten the dog, who counters with a healthy wet crap in the middle of the livingroom floor. I became a broken record, saying, "Get your big red shoes off my couch." I was seeing red, always. Red polka-dot bloomers hanging on the towel rack.  A red plastic nose in the sink...

They couldn't leave soon enough to suit me. I told them clowns were like hobos, just with better makeup. They seemed to take offense at that, but it got them packing.

The whole lot of them rode off into the dark one night. Their friend in the Volkswagen bug had come, just like they said he would. I had started to doubt it, but there they went. All 12 of them spilled from my door a mass of clown limbs, like a tumor expelled. The night air displaced by their irregular shapes filled in again. Held its breath with me, making sure.

The bike horn honking faintly down the road was the last I heard of them.

It's 9/9/19

  Yes, it's 9/9/19! Dates like these don't come around very often.  9/9/19.  Or put another way: 9-9-19.

Did you enjoy walking around today knowing that it was 9/9/19? I sure did. I enjoyed it a lot. 9/9/19. I envy anyone who was born today, who will get to fill out their birth date on forms for years to come as 9/9/19!

Too bad it can only be 9/9/19 for 24 hours. Soon it will be 9/10/19.  Yawn.

But wait! Just ten more days until.....9/19/19!!!!     

The Month of Lengthening Shadows

Mom liked to say that August was "the month of lengthening shadows."  She liked to remind us in emails, that this was a thing she said. And we would recall that she always said it, to varying degrees of success. 

One time mom even went so far as to say that August was her favorite month. But how can that be?!  When I was born in October??!!!

Last August mom would often sit outside in the gazebo on the grounds of the nursing home, and I imagine she took the opportunity to tell the two or three other residents who joined her out there that the shadows were lengthening. I'm pretty sure I heard her say it when I visited.

This August, memory of  mom will have to do. And where memory fails, there are emails. 


From the annals of family emails:  

August 7, 2011
Email from mom 

Subject:  Heat easing?

Well, the high today was 98.  This evening it turned cloudy and down to 

80 by sundown.  Quite an improvement.  It helps, now that the days are 

getting shorter.  You know I used to call August, the month of 

lengthening shadows. To me it means that the sun isn't bearing down so 

many hours and there's more shade. We are promised more chance for rain 

this week. ncmom

Michele reply:

Mom, there is no "used to" about it, you say this every year!  And before you even say it, every August I remember you saying it and am waiting to hear when you will say it again.  Be assured mom, that all of your children will always think of August as the month of lengthening shadows, as declared by you. You have put your imprint on the month of August!  I need to come up with one of these sayings.

Suzanne reply:

I always thought September was the month of lengthening shadows. Oh my, I have been so wrong for lo these many years!  Actually, mom, I was riding my golf cart one day last week on fripp and noticed that the light IS already a wee bit different now.  Those shadows can't come too soon for me! Ii am so looking forward to october!!!!!!!!! (yeah, laura,,,I just had to use the exclamation mark for that one)
 

August 5, 2012
Email from mom

Subject:  A word from Ness City

We had rain. and so far two glorious summer days.  The temp today, low 

90's and a beautiful evening. You know , like I always said.  "August is 

the month of lengthening shadows" The days are shorter and evenings cooler.

I spent this evening sitting out with Rosalinda and Martina Holmes.

On three consecutive weekends, Ness City is the host for ball 

tournaments, in our beautiful ampitheater ball park.  This weekend there 

was one sponsored by Sacred Heart School.  The teams come from all over 

and the crowds are phenomenal.  All I did was cruise by.  Next weekend, 

there will be one for young adults, men and women.  I may have to check 

that one out.

I enjoyed all your commentary about crockpot cooking.  I have a small 

one with the pot that lifts out. I like to use it once in while.

Va. I wonder sometimes about these long obits. Sometime back there was 

an obit on a Harkness girl who went to school here but hadn't lived here 

all of hereadult life.  It told everything she had ever done including 

singing solos in High School.

How can you keep a pantry with seven mouths to feed.?    ncmom

Suzanne reply:

Well, heck, I thought that September was the month of lengthening shadows. Glad to hear your days are just a tiny bit cooler now, mom. What makes those temps a little more bearable are the cooler evenings, for sure. I remember stepping on a sidewalk long after the sun had gone down, though, and that pavement still radiating heat! Here...90's in the day, 80 at night.  so not much cooling. And it's so humid, that's what makes it misery here. As for a pantry. I guess you answered my question, mom. No, it would be difficult indeed to keep a pantry stocked with so many mouths to feed. 

My reply:

Well mom, I have been thinking all weekend that MOM IS RIGHT!  The weather has been so much better--dramatically changing in just the last few days. It's pleasant now at night, and this morning I swear there was a cool breeze. I could feel fall in the air. So I'm a believer!  

Suzanne reply:

Well, down here in the steamy, swampy, south, we are NOT believers, and we are NOT deceived by the mere word "September"!  Not this year, by gosh. Every year we look longingly forward to September as being some magical turning point in our long hot summer,,but NO!  September arrives like some trashy streetwalker, more sultry and dirty than the three months before her.  Hah! I'll not fall for that again.

Michele reply: 

Hey, you insulted my favorite month!!!  Like a trashy streetwalker??!!!  Sometimes September is the only summer we get.  However, Seattle DID have summer this past weekend.  Woohoo!!! It was hot and the skies were blue.  The Blue Angels had the perfect template for their show, hundreds of boats were on Lake Washington and the crowds on the shores were insane -- sun worshippers who never get to see the sun were finally having a day.  My neighbor was improvising a sprinkler with her garden hose, spraying her delighted 3-year-old -- that was fun to see because, believe me, it isn't often that anyone in Seattle is hot enough to want to play in the water.  It cooled off in the evening but my room upstairs did not, so I stayed on the couch until the early hours of the morning.  Now we are back to clouds.  I think it may be around 80 today. 

Sorry you all are suffering such miserable heat. 

Suzanne reply:

Sorry...i'm trying reaaallllly hard to be happy for you mich. I do remember that time we came to visit, and it was in September, and the days were glorious,,the evenings cool.  Chilly, even. I'll go to my "happy" place in my mind...perhaps it's seattle.  

  

Aug 18, 2013
Email from mom

Subject:   August--the month of lengthening shadows

My favorite month-- for starters!  These past few weeks have been rare 

indeed.  Too much rain in eastern Kansas, but what we've had has just 

transformed this desert into an Eden.

I have not used the A/C for days.  And by now, the flowers around town 

are hanging over the side of their pots and just magnificent.  I have 

one large pot of petunias south of the house that I started from seed.  

Then geraniums are outdoing themselves on the front porch. It's amazing 

what a little rain and cooler weather can do. Just had to share.  ncmom

Suzanne's reply:

Wha??? okay, now i am confused. I thought september was the month of lengthening shadows!  Every year it gets earlier for you, mom.  Anyway,,August...NOT my favorite month.  But more about that later.  Yes, it is truly inspiring what rain does for green life in general.  All that nitrogen. So happy to read that ness city is blooming wonderful! 

My reply:

Yes, mom, I was amazed at how GREEN everything was when we were out there. Normally by this time of the summer I am grateful for those lengthening shadows, grateful for a sign that relief from the heat is on the horizon, but we've had so much cool and rainy weather, I'm not feeling ready for summer to go yet at all. Guess it's supposed to get hot this week. I welcome it --but Sue, I feel for you. Hope you get some relief soon.  

October 12, 2015

Email from Michele

Subject: Re: Your blog 

Mom, there was something she missed and I was going to remind her, but then I couldn't think of the exact words you use.  Every August, I depend on you to remark at least one about how it is the month of lengthening shadows, or something like that.  Can you tell us what it is you say, so we can have it for all posterity?

(Mom's reply missing from my email)

Sept 16, 2017

Email from Mom

Subject: A Grand Finale

I hope the past few days are an end to the 90 plus temps.  No time to 
read e-mails now.  ncmom

Michele reply:

Mom, I was waiting for you to say the thing you used to say every year: "August is the month of lengthening shadows".  Did you say that to anyone?  I was waiting and waiting, and then August was over and I don't think you said it.  

Time is not a blanket

I've tried to make it into one. Thinking I can wrap it around myself and relax into its folds. Oh, I've got three hours, I'll say. I imagine the things I'll do. I see me doing them with ease and comfort with such an abundance of minutes, like an abundance of well-milled yardage . But the comfort never materializes. Time is not a stretchy fabric. There are no soft folds to sink into. I reach for it and it dissipates like smoke, dark acrid smoke, the kind that tells you you're burning daylight.

So I'm giving up on time. I won't ask for more of it or hope I have enough of it. Because I won't. I won't have enough of it, so why bother?  Why count something you will always run short of?

Snow's A'Comin Agin

What the what?  Three to seven inches expected today? Well chap my ass. Who opened the door up north and forgot to shut it? I just got my car cleaned off from the last time. Provisions gonna run low. Not going near a store cuz it's gonna be cray-cray. Streets gonna be awful. I'm gonna be full of wine. And too weak to shovel out. We better get some good snow men out of this.     

Playin' Ice Storm Bingo

Been playing since last night, when the sound of ice pelting the deck, the trees, the electrical grid, pricked up my ears and made my eyes big as saucers.

Snow ---An Art Installation

I viewed these objets d'art during a recent visit to Ness City.

A few highlights from the exhibition catalog: 

  

Exhibit No. 1 

Title: Cleavage

Medium:  snow, dirt, shadow, tin shed 

The placement of two lone snow objects just inside a stark demarcation of shadow emphasizes the oppressive co-dependency of duality and the limitations imposed upon close juxtapositions despite the inherent bond that exists in such arrangements.      

Exhibit No. 2

Title:  Bullhead

Medium:  snow, buffalo grass, dirt, water, wire fence

Muddied and pocked from the clumsy scramblings of passing children, the dominant snow object in the foreground sits squarely on the field in a manner that suggests defiance, in contrast to the more desultory piece melting behind it. The fact that disintegration is inevitable confronts the viewer with uneasy questions about their own recalcitrance and denial of their mortality.       

Exhibit No. 3

Title: What truth here lies

Medium:  buffalo grass, snow, full sun

Conflict, compromise, survival, surrender... community, loyalty, sacrifice, regret.... hope, fear, love, lust.... the interplay of sunlit snow objects on an unprotected plain make obvious the artist's intentions in exploring these themes.

Exhibit No. 4 

Title: Holler

 Medium:  snow, buffalo grass, soccer goal, distance

In this piece, the artist examines how the orientation of two similar but seemingly separate snow balls creates a space that suggests not two separate snow balls but something more. The viewer is cast as eavesdropper, voyeur, and one senses a communication is occurring. Or not.

Exhibit No. 5

Title: Crossings

Medium: yard, street, snow, tracks, telephone pole

 This piece grapples with the truancy in our lives. The ambiguity of the tracks --coming, going, stalling--reveal the unsettled movements of schoolchildren who set a course for school, then changed their minds.

Exhibit No. 6

Title: Mount Whoever

Medium: snow, dirt, mud, road gravel, street plow

A heap of indigent snow, dumped in the middle of the street, draws the eye and disrupts the normal flow of traffic, causing the viewer to contemplate the struggle of man vs. nature, beauty vs. utility, humanity vs. expediency and to ask the question, "Who the heck was running the city plow that day?"

Minimize Talking! It's a Polar Vortex!

It doth dive, it doth plungeth, the vortex of the Poles!

Wind chills are below zero. Frostbite is at hand. Cars may not start. I get an instant headache when I'm outside, the cold squeezing my blood vessels like a vice. Meterologists explain it thusly:

"The planetary-scale cyclonic circulation, centered generally in the polar regions, extending from the middle troposphere to the stratosphere"

In other words, bitch-ass cold! Weather reporters have been calling out the warnings for days:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"This is a large area of cold air high up in the atmosphere that normally lives over the poles (as its name suggests). The polar vortex usually stays where it belongs but can make unwelcome visits to the U.S"

"It's a pool of subfreezing air that normally swirls over the Arctic Circle

                      DIVES into the Midwest this week pushing temperatures OFF
                                                                                                                      A
                                                                                                                     CLIFF"


 **Extreme** arctic cold will PLUNGE into the Midwest this week"

"the polar vortex gets displaced from the Arctic Circle

            and DIVES

                          into the Midwest"

I protest this Arctic invasion! I have made an intentional choice NOT to live at the North Pole, missing out on things like seeing reindeer, the Northern Lights, eating blubber. But I've made peace with that, in exchange for inhabiting a temperate zone.  But the polar vortex has no boundaries. Weathermen tell us:

"It will bring "the coldest weather in years"

"Millions of people and animals throughout the midwest are at risk for hypothermia and frostbite to occur in minutes"


"I cannot stress how dangerously cold it will be"

"Dangerously cold wind chills could lead to frostbite on exposed skin in a matter of MINUTES"

"The wind chill temperature is more than a catchy forecast term. The wind blows away the insulating layer of warm air around us generated naturally by our bodies"

" If outside, avoid taking deep breaths and  minimize talking"

"hours of subzero temperatures so that "we're going to hear buildings and outdoor objects creaking"

"a BRUTAL MASS of COLD AIR within strong bands of circulating winds...

"This is the coldest air many of us will have ever experienced."

"Biting winds usher in Arctic blast" 

"The worst is yet to come"

"Locations in the Midwest will be below zero continuously for 48-72 hours"

"Thanks to a meandering jet stream --parts of the vortex can slosh down into North America....."

Pictured here: parts of the vortex sloshing

airstayspartcold-airextendingAmericatalkingbandsmiddlebuildingsregionsplanetary-scaleblowshearsloshCircleskinnearusherlayerfrostbiteobjectsstressoccurcentralmakeMidwestpositionyearsmeanderingwithinmanynormallyusuallyyetUSAhoursdangerousbelongspolarU.SweekNorthmorematterhelpinginsulatingzeroeasterninvadeatmosphereleadtemperatureDIVESlocationshighbitingavoidanimalssuggestsnormaldisplacedbreathscoldestcenterednamePLUNGEsubzeroExtremebodiesspreadcatchygoingsouthwardexposedtemperaturesoutsidecirculationpushingcreakingtermsubfreezingvortexstratospherebringinggeneratedareadangerouslywindpeopleArcticfunneleverexperiencedblastcold

Hypothermia Kit

Thinking of venturing out into the cold?

Don't leave home without our Hypothermia Kit  --  Releases the life-saving message  "I've frozen and I can't get up!"  Speaks for you when your tongue is iced shut. Endless looped recording gives passersby several appeals --one is sure to make them stop.

How does it work? Patented smart technology uses bio-sensors to detect your vital signs ---device activates with the slowing of your heart beat.


It was good enough for your ancestors, it's good enough for you--

Brick in your pocket

Just heat over an open fire and you're ready to face the elements. Take it from Clovis Yarvis, an ancestor!

"When I was a boy we had to walk 20 miles to school. Thought nuthin of it. On cold days ma put a  brick in our pocket. Slowed us down some, but none of us froze to death."



And for commuters on chilly mornings ---Car Squirrel!

Now you're probably saying --car squirrel? My car is no place for a squirrel! And you'd be right! But behavioral scientists everywhere agree --a squirrel running around the inside of your car is a great distraction from the cold! Now keep your pants on, he's not real. The little bugger is just a convincing animatronic replica , programmed to keep you guessing with his squirrel-like cunning, so you never know where he's going to pop out next. Your bodily contortions triggered by natural squirrel aversion will get the cortisol flowing and you'll warm up in no time.

Actual size and battery life of squirrels may vary. 

But sometimes you don't want to go out. Am I right? You just want to stay in...

...but the family has some fool notion about ice skating or some such.

Time for you to pull the dead car battery routine, using our Dead Car Battery Simulator.  Sounds deceitful, and it is! But you're cold! So pretend to turn on the ignition but instead really turn on the sound effects of a car battery failing to turn over, the hallmark feature of the Dead Car Battery Simulator. Patent pending.   


All these products and more are manufactured exclusively for you by the Friendly Persuasion Good Product Company, to help sustain you during the bitter months ahead. "Let's Just Get Through This, Shall We?" Sold for a limited time only, these items are not available in any store!  

This has been a word from our sponsors. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming....

A New Year ---Choose Your Adventure

 This planning questionnaire will help you set goals and make 2019 the year of your dreams!

For each item, choose one:


This year I will change:

my address
my hair color
the furnace filter
horses in midstream



This year I will go:

to great lengths
great guns
to church
crazy



This year I will release:

tension
all judgement
my pets into the wild
my inner demons



This year I will walk:

30 minutes every day
the line
the walk
like an Egyptian



This year I will keep:

on top of things
my wits about me
my powder dry
on truckin'



This year I will write:

letters
a novel
off my vacation
checks that won't bounce



This year I will drive:

old people to doctor's appointments
the speed limit
a hard bargain
to drink



This year I will scrub:

the tub
the dog
my computer of incriminating files
my elbows



This year I will remember:

my loved ones
my password
that kind of September
the Alamo



This year I will fight:

the battle of the bulge
the power
sleep
with both fists



This year I will try:

 to exercise
 a new food
 a little kindness
 men's souls



 This year I will climb:

a tree
the career ladder
every mountain
the watertower at midnight



This year I will call:

my mom more often
'em like I see 'em
in a favor
the wind Maria

This year I will break:

with tradition
my piggybank
the curse of my forebears
wind



This year I will throw:

 away old junk
 in with a cool crowd
 my voice at parties
 my back out


This year I will skip:

my midnight snack
classes
to my Lou
the arraignment



This year I will give

money to charity
unsolicited advice
myself a party
myself up to the authorities



This year I will put:

first things first
up or shut up
a little love in my heart
on the Ritz


This year I will turn:

over a new leaf
up the volume
lemons into lemonade
state's evidence


This year I will stir:

fry vegetables
a cocktail
before dawn
the turd

This year I will polish:

  the furniture
 the silver
 off that bottle of rye



This year I will start:

a diet
a diary
a riot
what I can't finish