Sunday, March 8, 2015

I'm melting! --which is a good thing.

It's March! It feels like spring! It's in the 60's! 70's! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I go through this every year--- the feeling of freedom and relief that comes with a big warm-up. I shouldn't be surprised by how different it makes me feel, but it amazes me every time.

When I am warm I feel like a completely different person. A person full of ideas and dreams and possibilities! Alas, I cannot summon this level of optimism or energy in the depths of winter. Psychically speaking, I spend all of January and February wrapped in an adult-sized onesie.

I don't wear an actual onesie, I don't even own one. I think they are hideous looking, and the hassle involved in going to the bathroom  would offset any comfort I might derive. But I feel as constrained by low energy and lack of daring as if I were wearing one, without the extra warmth. And my schedule fully revolves around a narrow set of activities: cooking, eating, and heating.

I see the days of the week in terms of which soup we are going to eat, and which mornings I'm going to be loading the crockpot with fatty meats. I measure time by the number of minutes it takes to boil tea. I structure my evenings around frequent trips to the heat vent, reassuring myself, "After you clean up the kitchen, you can go lie on the vent."  "After you walk the dog, you can go lie on the vent."  "After you Google the forecast, you can go lie on the vent." The vent is my reward for strenuous activities.

The toll that winter takes is reflected too in my blog posts. I could only muster the  strength to post four other times so far this year. One of those times was to document a rare, freak respite of warmth we had in January. The slowdown in blog posts was partly because I was working on other kinds of writing, but also because the cold makes my blood move like sludge and I get sleepy. Which leaves me snoozing over my lap-top instead of writing. Oh, I had ideas come and go, but I was unable to sustain the alertness needed to type them up.

But the thaw has begun....and with warm temps forecast for the week ahead, I look forward to feeling like my old self again.