Friday, December 28, 2012

Meet My Christmas Peanuts

I have these peanut Christmas tree ornaments I rescued one year from a second-hand shop. They were somebody's abandoned homemade ornaments, with pipe-cleaner arms and legs, and appendages made of  clumsy gobs of brown wax.

When I found them, they lay tangled in a pile inside a cigar box. I took them home, freed their knotted limbs, and gave them new life adorning my Christmas tree. Then I put them back in the box for another year. But each Christmas I get them out and give them the privilege of dangling from my tree.

 Being that they have peanut shells for bodies, they are vulnerable to mice and our dog Cheri, yet they are full of bluster and personality. Some of them are downright onry! 

Mr. "show-stopper" Peanut is always ready to do a little soft shoe. 


 Winking Peanut thinks he's the George Clooney of peanuts.

"Sluggo" is a bit of a hothead, always ready for an altercation.   

Sometimes the Santa ornament has to intervene and give Sluggo a spanking. 

The Michael Jackson peanut has teamed up with one of the pixies for a ventriloquist act. 

While one of the more introverted pixies looks on... 

 The Eddie Haskell peanut is always in cahoots with the other ornaments, but tries to pass himself off as

"Commando" peanut suffers flashbacks and delusions that he is fighting in the jungles of Southeast Asia.  

 Narcoleptic Peanut is usually caught napping. His big feet make him sleepy.

Of course my favorite is the Mony peanut, the sweetest and most angelic of them all.   

Saturday, December 22, 2012

My Disturbing Holiday Revelations

Ho Ho Ho! Here you go! 

My disturbing holiday revelations of 2012 : 

I've been hoarding eggnog the whole month of December. (They only stock it for so long, you know, and when it's gone, it's gone.)

I am now an eggnog connoisseur. I know which brands are tops and which to avoid. (Because I've tried them all.)

I hate divinity. (The candy.)

Our Christmas tree has been up a week but still has no decorations. (Who has the frickin' time?)

I am re-using your Christmas card in ways you never imagined. (Using it to scoop spiders off the wall into an empty butter container.)

I would pay top dollar to have someone shovel my sidewalk dressed as a nun or old jumpsuit Elvis.

I am cutting back on fruits and vegetables to leave more room in my stomach for Christmas cookies and fudge balls.

The thing that has excited me the most this Christmas season is finding a new gingerbread recipe. (That calls for beer.)

My idea of goodwill toward men is not vacuuming while the football game is on.

I spend a great deal of time on the internet hunting for Christmas photos of Burl Ives.   

In lieu of shopping, I have written a Christmas play that I'm going to force my family to act out.   

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Woody and Burl

Here you go. Woody Guthrie and Burl Ives, as you've never seen them before.  This photo raises eyebrows and questions, but that's what I love about it.

I would prefer it remain open to intrepretation, but that's what sucks about the internet age. No mysteries, no place for wild speculation, because no question goes unanswered. According to the Library of Congress, this was a publicity shot that CBS took in 1940 in Central Park, NYC, before a radio appearance. Guess they're pretending to be hobos.   

Friday, December 7, 2012

They're Little and They're Free

Around where I live, three Little Free Libraries have cropped up. Aren't they adorable? Each one was started by a local resident who was moved to stick some of their books inside a small hutch and make the books available to passers-by, for free, 24/7.

What can you get at these little book stands? Here is a sampling of some of the titles:

•The View from Saturday – E.L. Konigsburg

•Mysterious Benedict Society

•A Wrinkle in Time

•Aunt Dimity’s Death

•The Dark Wind – Tony Hillerman

•Leo the Late Bloomer

•The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax

•Whale Talk

•Junior Gymnast

•A Bargain for Frances

•Llama Pajamas

Photos and book titles taken from Prairie Village Post: