Ho Ho Ho! Here you go!
My disturbing holiday revelations of 2012 :
I've been hoarding eggnog the whole month of December. (They only stock it for so long, you know, and when it's gone, it's gone.)
I am now an eggnog connoisseur. I know which brands are tops and which to avoid. (Because I've tried them all.)
I hate divinity. (The candy.)
Our Christmas tree has been up a week but still has no decorations. (Who has the frickin' time?)
I am re-using your Christmas card in ways you never imagined. (Using it to scoop spiders off the wall into an empty butter container.)
I would pay top dollar to have someone shovel my sidewalk dressed as a nun or old jumpsuit Elvis.
I am cutting back on fruits and vegetables to leave more room in my stomach for Christmas cookies and fudge balls.
The thing that has excited me the most this Christmas season is finding a new gingerbread recipe. (That calls for beer.)
My idea of goodwill toward men is not vacuuming while the football game is on.
I spend a great deal of time on the internet hunting for Christmas photos of Burl Ives.
In lieu of shopping, I have written a Christmas play that I'm going to force my family to act out.