Darn it, they plugged up the gap in the fence over on Barkley street. That means our dog Cheri can't see her boyfriend no more. He used to hang his head through the gap and get fresh with her. She didn't seem to mind it one bit. She would sit there and let him, uh, er...check her out. I'll miss his sorrowful face and the way he used to stick his neck out between the boards to look at Cheri when we came up the street. He looked just like a hound dog in the movies. And yeah, this all happened on Barkley street, for real.
The other day, Lilah's volleyball team had a car wash. She was supposed to make a sign for it.
I was like, "I'm not running out to buy poster board. We have cardboard in the garage. You can use that."
Lilah was like, "I'm not gonna use cardboard. That's what hobos use."
I was like, "Oh for pete's sake. You can use cardboard."
Lilah was like, "I'm not using cardboard."
Me: "Well, I'm not going to run out and buy poster board!"
Lilah: "You always see hobos with cardboard signs. They never have poster board signs."
Me: "Of course they don't have poster board signs. And that's a good thing. Because if you give a hobo money, you don't want him running off and buying poster board. You want him to buy a sandwich, or a pint to steady his nerves."
Lilah: "Yeah, so I'm not using cardboard."
Me: "Well I'm not running out to buy poster board!
Lilah: "I know!"
Me: "How about a pizza box? We have a pizza box. It's white. It looks clean. You could use that."
Lilah: "No, I'm not using a pizza box."
Me: "You won't look like a hobo if you use a pizza box. Hobos don't have pizza boxes. Hobos don't get carryout from Pizza Hut."
Me: "Fine! But I'm not running out to buy poster board!"