Facts About Colors

Look around. There is no escaping color. It is ubiquitous. Yet what does it all mean? Below is color explained.


Black

Black is seen as a color of domination. It is also the color of licorice and tires. Black is timeless as a fashion choice, unless the style is goth, then it's a tired cliché.  Black outfits are often worn by rebels and outlaws. Villians, such as Dracula, often wear black. As do priests.

White

Brides wear white because it makes the bride easy to spot in a crowd, harder for her to run away.

 White reflects light and is a popular for summer wear. It is frowned on after September, because it can repel heat and make for a harder winter. 

Those choosing to wear white head to toe are usually narcissists. White conveys moral superiority, which is why nuns and priests never wear all white. Because---come on. Priests are only allowed a strip of white at their collar. White is popular in decorating because it is challenging to keep clean and therefore imbues people with a sense of moral superiority. Doctors and nurses used to wear white but not as much these days. It makes them easy to spot and too hard for them to run away.


Red

Red is considered a power color. It is a misconception, as wearing red weakens the blood. Something about its place on the spectrum activates a chemical reaction. Red is often used in play equipment and classrooms for small children, which weakens their blood and makes them more docile and submissive to teachers. 

 Red in decor is okay as an accent, like a spatula in your kitchen or Fido's water bowl. But red furniture or walls is a sign of mental imbalance. Red cars are popular but mechanics will tell you that red cars don't last as long. No one knows why. Possibly because the chemical reaction thing.

Pink

A spin-off of red, pink is seen as fun and youthful by some, creating nausea in others. The Pepto-Bismal brand used this association when they chose a pink color for their product. Pink is seen as a more feminine fashion choice but the little-known truth is men love to wear pink. Administer truth serum to any man and you will find this is so. This is why so many men work in offices, where it's acceptable to wear a pink dress shirt.     

Blue

Blue is one of the most popular colors because it is the color of the sky and the ocean and the blood in our veins. Unless you're a Vulcan.  The term "blue bloods" originated in the early 1800s from the need to differentiate nobles from the Vulcan race roaming the earth at that time. People find blue tranquil and calming, unless it's country blue all over their livingroom, and then it makes them want to punch something. 

Green

We all know green is reminiscent of nature.  People paint things green hoping it will look more organic or pleasing. They forget that while grass is green, so is bile. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms", which originally got their name from the fact that the anxiety of performing stirs up bile. Surgeons wear green scrubs in a nod to bile.  

Yellow

Yellow is a bright, cheerful color. It is the same color as the sun. And some teeth. People lose their shit  more often in yellow rooms, and babies cry more. Yellow enhances concentration, unless there is a baby around. Yellow is stimulating and hopeful, unless one is working on a legal pad. Then it's mind-numbing and soul killing. 

 

Purple

Purple is the color of royalty, but it is also the color of bruises. Unless the bruise is 5-10 days old, then it may turn yellow. The color comes from compounds in the body called bilirubin, which by the way is the yellow pigment in bile. (See the color Green.)