This past weekend, it was a whole new world. A world of puppies and bunnies and duckies and soft furry sunlight. A world of warmth and laughter. People hanging outside, relaxed, sun on their faces. People in light jackets, in no jackets, limbs hanging loose and open. Easy. It felt easy to go places, easy to walk. I met my sister Laura for coffee, which we haven't done in like forever. And it was like I was light and floating on sunlight. Driving to Westport, the air was sweet. Having to park a ways down on Broadway and walk up the hill was absolutely fine. We sat and drank lattes and shared vegan pumpkin bread, and enjoyed the light coming in through the big pane window. Feasted our eyes on the parade of characters lining up for java. Fanciful peacocks in full spring plumage. Tights, ripped tees, combat boots, jagged hemlines, zippered leather, vintage knits, tight jeans, funky skirts, crayon hair. The music while we were ordering started out the Beatles, then I lost track. But as Laura and I talked, I would occasionally catch a strain of Depeche Mode, the Smiths, other Brit bands.
Later in the afternoon, I took the girls to the Unitarian Universalist church to see Roger playing with the Westport Art Ensemble for their Jazz and Beyond concert series. They played some of my favorites --"Dot of Oz," "Almost Hit that Lady," and two of Roger's compositions, "Labyrinth Therapy" and "Hehnemehr." The last song, "Hehnemehr," is named after this thing Roger used to say to Lilah when she was a baby. Somehow her babyness just inspired him to say, "Hehnemehr!" all the time.
Last night I noticed something different. Maybe it was just that my homework load was lighter this weekend, or maybe it was the coffeetalk with my sister Laura. But I felt better than usual towards the end of the day. I couldn't help but wonder if it was the change in weather. Usually, the last hour or two, I'm dragging myself through the evening chores, everything feels hard, I'm about to give out. But last night I had more bounce in my step than usual. I wasn't hitting the wall. And I wondered if it was because I hadn't been bracing myself against the cold all day.
I heard it's supposed to rain most of this week, so the cold and damp chill will return. And I will probably run back into my cocoon for awhile longer. But yesterday I remembered what it was like, to strip off the bundles, walk straight into the fresh air, and open up to life again.