Goin' Incognito

At last my quest for anonymity has ended! I'm so tired of being recognized and greeted everywhere I go. But help is on the way, now that I've found the Pilgrim Lady Instant Disguise Kit. In just seconds, this kit will transform me from the 21st century denizen of cool that I am, highly sought after and admired, to a seventeenth century bonneted matron, who warrants nary a second glance. And no one will be the wiser. Just think of all the places I can go unhindered, while dressed like a pilgrim lady. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. With this new freedom, I can slip unnoticed into clubs, bars, gay bars --all manner of dens of iniquity, and I'll be totally disguised. I'll be that proverbial fly on the wall. I can help myself to any event I please --crash snobbish parties, stroll through local parades with cavalier ease, take umbrage in protests and rallies, without ever risking arrest. Yes, a whole new life is opening up for me, now that I've found the Pilgrim Lady Instant Disguise Kit. I can hardly wait to get started.