Son Of A Beatle! Dhani Harrison's Regrettable Fashion Spread

While waiting for my appointment at the women's health clinic, I browsed through a copy of a magazine called Fashion Rocks. It was either that or settle in with an issue of Conceive! Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

Twas whilst I was flipping pages that I happened upon a fashion spread so lavish with unhinged fantasy that I could scarce look away. It featured Dhani Harrison, son of my favorite Beatle, George.
 

Why was George my fave? Let's review: spiritual Beatle, played sitar, put garden gnomes on an album cover. Put out delightfully weird music video "Crackerbox Palace" years before music videos became commonplace. (Back then it was called a "short film" and it was directed by Eric Idle.) I saw the video debut on Saturday Night Live on November 20, 1976, and it said "Come! Join us! You belong in Crackerbox Palace with the rest of us oddballs." I couldn't find a way out of my livingroom in western Kansas, but I cherished the invitation.
 

But back to Dhani. Son of George is all grown up now, and he says his father told him he looks more like George Harrison than he, George Harrison did. Indeed, the sight of Dhani's soulful eyes and Beatlesque moustache makes it seem like 1969 again, and I'm six years old, in Mrs. Zitnick's kindergarten class learning to tie the big red shoe.

But I digress. With Dhani channeling George, it was inevitable that some fashionistas would descend on him and use him as a prop for their own diabolical retro-exploitative fashion schemes. And sure enough, that's what happened and the results are all over the pages of Fashion Rocks. See for yourself:

 Is this a Monty Python skit? No, it's  just Dhani Harrison enjoying a bit of sport in his back yard. If you think his hat is badass, just check out his belt. My life is so plain.

OMG. Dhani Harrison is lost in the wild with a fur creature who resembles Patti Boyd!

"Weeeee! We're young and rich and obnoxiously photogenic! Also stoned out of our minds! Cuz who really runs like this?

He's so Britsy. She's so Patti Boydishy. Together they're so creepy. Hmmm... Do you really want to evoke the relationship your Dad had before he hooked up with your mum?

 

Please, God. Make it stop.

Okay, that's it. This has gone on long enough. The woolly animal hides were bad. The Patti-George thing-- disturbing. But this purple pimped out cowboy hat? Dhani, you've become a fashion victim.  Get out now, while you still can. Get out of there. Flee! Go find a sitar, a tabla, a banjo, a Jew's harp, ANYTHING and reclaim your soul!

As an antidote to that hot mess, I give you George Harrison's "Crackerbox Palace":