Chakra meditation with the Queen of England

Meditation Leader:   To prepare ourselves, your Highness, we shall take a deep breath.......that's good......excellent.....now we are ready to begin. Let us commence by going to to our happy place......

Queen:    Oh how lovely. I'd been hoping to get back to my beloved Balmoral ......

Meditation Leader:   Very good, your Highness....let us go there forthwith.......

Queen:      Huzzah!  I'll be glad to get out of this dreary mausoleum. 

Queen's Footman:  If you please, your Highness, we are not actually leaving the castle. It's a figure of speech. You are to go to your happy place in your mind.

Queen:   Oh dear, that won't do. I shan't have all the horses shatting about up there.

Queen's Footman:    I'll see to it that doesn't happen, Your Highness.

Meditation Leader:    Just try and visualize it, your Highness. Create a picture in your mind. Very well then. Let's breathe together....we will start by focusing on the root chakra.  The root chakra is associated with our connection to the earth...to the ground, the soil beneath our feet......

Queen:  My good man, I must say that sounds quite untoward and not in keeping with protocol. I shall leave the root chakra to the gardener.

Meditation Leader:    Of course,  your Highness. In that case we will move up to the next chakra, the 6th chakra, what is also known as the orange chakra....

Queen's Footman:  The queen doesn't care for orange, as it doesn't flatter.

Meditation Leader:   Very well. We will dispense with the orange chakra. On to the yellow chakra, associated with the solar plexus....

Queen's Footman:   Ahem. Good sir, there shall be no mention of the royal solar plexus! Move on to another chakra at once.

Meditation Leader::  Very well. We will dispense with the 5th chakra. We now move on to the 4th chakra, associated with...

Queen:  I say, this seems as slow as taking a commoner's elevator. Let's get on with it, shall we? I don't have all day for all these ignoble chakras. I should like to go straight to the crown chakra.

Meditation Leader:  As you wish, your Highness.

Queen:  Oh, we are enlightened, aren't we? I'm so glad I took up meditation!