Dead of Winter Revelations

Wearing my blue knit cap, which makes me look like a Smurf, is a fashion "Do".  I found this out last night while thumbing through Glamour magazine at the hair salon. Glamour says wearing your stocking hat pointy or squishy is a "Don't", but if you let it flop backwards "Smurfette"-style, you're lookin' good.   

The reason my dog presses her paw hard against my throat is she likes to feel my heartbeat. 

I am slowly losing my Christmas weight. Imperceptibly yes, but it's true. 

My butt can sustain temperatures up to 350 degrees Farenheit while sitting on a furnace vent.

I love the way people look sitting inside a movie theater with their 3 D glasses on.

I can make time pass quickly at stop lights by running agility tests. I toss a treasured object, like my warm glove, or eyeglasses, over onto the passenger floor to see if I am able to lean over and grab it before the light turns green.

I developed strong feelings for the Swingline stapler long before that guy on Office Space did.

If you wear a big enough coat you can stay in your robe and no one will be the wiser.

Cd cases made of cardboard are worthless as ice scrapers.

Many a hearty meal can be built around cabbage.