Obama and Clinton Come Together

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton stunned the world Thursday evening when they emerged from a secret meeting at Dianne Feinstein's home in D.C. bodily transformed into one presidential candidate. Although details of this shocking development remain unclear, it is apparent they underwent some form of bio-genetic fusion process, essentially melding their physiologies and their psychological makeups to form one hideous nominee for the Democratic party's so-called "unity ticket." The implications of this drastic ploy by the two junior senators and the response of voters is not yet known. DNC officials are currently holding emergency meetings and have declined to comment.